vurn: log 1 - a child on the bus asks a question

It's hotter than it was last week. Much hotter. Vurn could complain, but the exhaustion of the day already has its hold on him. Still, there's excitement to be had for the evening. After all these long hours of meetings, there is an eventual respite with a nice cold drinks and soft music, he tells himself. Maybe even a cigarette and a nice view of the sunset from his office would be good enough motivation to get to the night.

A bright, sudden light flashes into this eyes. Vurn blinks madly. Everyone on the bus is quietly on their phones. He looks down and sees a child no more than four or five years old peering up at him, flashlight moving frantically as she waved her arms.

"Do you have any guns??" She yells angrily.

Vurn blinks madly yet again. "Uh, no?" He looks around, spotting the mother right next to the toddler, sitting and taking a phone call. She seems much too absorbed in her own conversation to notice her daughter questioning him.

The child stomps her feet and holds up her flashlight. "Well, I need to check or else you can't go anywhere!" She brashly grabs Vurn's sleeve and then pushes his arm up above her head, grazing her flashlight over the sleeves of his jacket. Huffing, she goes on to do the same to the other arm. "Are you sure you don't have any guns?"

Finding the situation a little bit amusing, Vurn decides to indulge her. Her mother isn't paying attention anyways, so he says, "I am very sure young miss. Am I good to go?" He smiles as she inspects his watch, rings, and bracelets.

She seems confused, grabbing his fingers and splaying them apart. She looks up and squints at him, pouting as she appears to size him up. She circles him, stepping over people's shoes, receiving a couple grunts and sleepy, slightly awakened looks from other passengers. Her mother is still deeply engaged in her own conversation, a world away from her own daughter as she barks into her phone. Her daughter continues to poke at Vurn, clearly perplexed about something to do with him.

"Are you a boy or a girl?"

Time seems to just stop. Several heads look in their direction, curious about the sudden, loud and strange inquiry. Vurn feels his head go blank.

"What." He states plainly. He can see in her eyes that she is absolutely serious, lip curled as she glares defiantly at him.

Other occupants on the bus are now actively listening. Vurn feels a little self conscious. He knows he looks... not like a typical man. Abstract, out of the ordinary, feminine. Explaining himself and his expression of the self has always been a pet peeve of his. He takes a quick glance around, wondering how best to answer without completely embarrassing himself. "...I don't know. What do you think?"

He watches the child's shock color her young face. She must have been expecting anger as a response, he wonders sullenly to himself. He waits patiently, letting her mull over the question. He watches as she looks at her preoccupied mother before looking at him. "Is it bad that I don't know?" She whispers.

"No! Not at all," Vurn says immediately, smiling down at her. "I am a guy!"

The girl laughs nervously. "I thought.. because of your earrings and nice face... that you were a girl!" She can't restrain herself from once again exclaiming loudly in the bus, drawing more attention. Vurn looks around and sees a few chuckling, and others looking annoyed that there is noise in the bus.

"Ugh, Viola, what did I tell you about asking strangers if they're a man or a woman? I thought we went over this." Suddenly her mother is pulling the girl's ear.

Smiles in the bus quickly turn to frowns and concerned looks. Vurn resists the urge to reprimand the mother for her daughter's curiosity. The woman, finally off her phone call, grabs her daughter aggressively to pull her close. Vurn notices the lines in between her brows - to him, these are usually a sign of a person who can't relax. He knows well. But, the mother of the girl openly projects that stress and tired energy on her daughter, speaking harshly to her in public.

Looking around yet again, various people seem uncomfortable with the mother's approach to her child. Those who carried on quietly with their phones earlier discreetly listen. Vurn decides yet again to let the situation pass through him, deciding to do nothing but observe.

"Mama I was just as-"

"I don't care, Viola. It's bad. This is our stop anyways, let's go." The woman pushes her child through the door, hastily grabbing her things.

Vurn manages a wave towards the girl. Her eyes have gone sad. The curiosity gone from her. The doors close. The bus is quiet yet again.

Fidgeting with his rings, Vurn worries his lip. He wonders if he could have done anything different. The bus goes into the underground pass, surrounding the bus with concrete and stone. Darkness, only to be parted by yellowed lights, some broken along the way down. Vurn catches his reflection on the windows of the bus as the lights pass, illuminating his and the other passengers' bodies in the soft yellow beams. He sees his round face, he sees the softness in his cheeks. He sees glimpses of the woman he left behind.

Vurn wonders if the girl knew. He feels cold.