falling in love on the steps of time

11 september 2025 - thursday

i have seen a lot of beautiful sites in virtual reality, and have had the pleasure of seeing worlds develop over time. to some level i am a little bit picky of what worlds i want to sit in. i find myself scrolling thru worlds in vrchat quite faster than my peers, and i often need reminders from friends to slow down a little bit. however, this world 'steps of time' by harim in vrchat, took my breath away so quickly that i focused on my friends almost immediately. i noticed how the scale of this world made them look so small in comparison. the way the light hit their avatars, the way the colors of the world contrasted with their own colors, the intimate setting of friends gathering and speaking to each other softly. for a moment, i felt myself wanting to grasp a hand or to lean on someone's shoulder...only to be cruelly reminded that we were various distances away from each other. it was such a strong immersive experience right from the get go that i found myself settling into the space.

these kinds of worlds that are of the genre 'dilapidated urban area' are unfortunately among my guilty pleasures of worlds to be in hahaha. it's tough for me to admit because some might say that it is such an oversaturated of a world genre, and i cannot completely disagree! there are a lot of assets out there for people to use that are inspired by the post-apocalyptic aesthetics popularized by media over the last few decades. for us in this modern age where things are convenient, busy, and in many ways overmaterialistic and condensed, it's very shocking and in some ways cathartic to see a world that is forgotten, left behind, and maybe even healing and growing out of the human touch and impact. virtual worlds like these can help us explore that kind of aesthetic, and i have already been a big fan of harim's previous worlds for their saturated coloring, consistent lighting, and for being primetime hangout spots for me and my friends.

despite the lovely saturation and beams of sunlight in this world, it still gives me this air of melancholy and emptiness, of a time forgotten and memories left behind. there's little areas of this world that when glancing they look rather ordinary (like this picture below to the left) but somehow have a certain character to them.

this little area becomes a place for us to sit down and catch up, to take in the world from a different point of view. sometimes my friends and i come across worlds that are meant to be seen in only ONE perspective (which i understand! no hate here) but it feels nice to appreciate the world from every angle, and to find spaces to simply exist that feel natural - that feel like we are right there with each other exploring an abandoned town's steps like close friends on a risky adventure! it's a charming thought, and it's a fun one to have while spending time with loved ones that is low stakes and is simply just all about enjoying each other's energy.

one thing that really gets to me about worlds that make me feel so deeply is how i keep having thoughts about people i miss. missing in the way that we simply don't hangout anymore, and missing in the way that we simply cannot hangout anymore because some individuals are no longer with us here on this tangible earth. our time with them was cut short and all we can do is celebrate their memory by moving forward. missing people is something i do not handle way in either of the ways i just outlined. i am a sensitive person that feels intensely, i fall in love w moments and music and i hold memories very very deep in my heart. i think of people and places that aren't around anymore, and worlds like this spark this deep feeling of sadness and regret that i'm not sure i'll ever get rid of. i don't think it's necessarily bad to remember the people who have impacted us even years after separation or the degree of pain left behind. we mourn the people we lost, even when we are in vr, because as much as the experiences we have in here are virtual, the connections are VERY much real and worth fighting for.

if you'd like to check out this world for yourself, please click here! note: you must be logged into your vrchat account to view!

in my mind i painted a scenery
one where you and i could have loved as we were
what is done, is done
men like us cry silent tears
with pride as our gag and shame as our jailer