12 FEBRUARY 2026 - THURSDAY

facing the year with bated breath

I am probably not the only one out there who looks at the calendar with both fear and apprehension. Time moves fast, but it also moves excrutiatingly slow for people caught in situations they cannot control. My family, friends, and the communities I am deeply invested in are feeling the brunt of these difficult times. People are tense, waiting for another ball to drop or for another horrible thing to be announced on the news. Being able to relax, let go, and forget about the reality that we live in is a luxury many cannot afford.

Recently, a good friend of mine brought up that there is a need for us to be able to let go, or to learn how to let go, of everything going on in both our personal and professional lives. I remember feeling quite upset at them for a bit, thinking, "How could you? Don't you know that these things happening are also impacting those we love? Our own friends?" I remember feeling a bit bitter and betrayed by them sharing that sentiment, but then they said that in order for us to persevere, we NEED to learn how to manage and process our feelings and emotions. Now more than ever. It stings, being told that, as admittedly I am a very passionate person. I feel things intensely, I react preemptively because of my fear, and the result is that those intensely heavy, negative feelings remain within me much longer than they should. Processing it and moving forward can allow me to find some sort of peace, was their point.

(I am also not a great listener sometimes. I get /too/ passionate, and sometimes it really is better to observe before even thinking of putting out a reaction.)

A perfect world would have everyone equally invested in each other's successes and strifes, but this is no perfect world, and everyone has burdens to bear. What's good about the friend I mentioned is that other friends of mine have shared similar sentiments, but still also have trouble balancing emotions and how we act on them, just like myself. I shouldn't feel guilty for feeling awful about awful things, but this is my one and only life, and I cannot let it slip away from me because I drowned myself in misery. There are things that I /can/ control, and I should capitalize on that.

One way I have reclaimed my time has been journaling regularly in my physical journals. I keep a Sterling Ink Standard TN Compact Planner for this year, and it's perfect for archiving. I also have been trying my best to write morning pages, but that escapes me some days when I start really early. The simple joy of placing ink on paper is healing.

My friends have started DJing way more than me, and it's very lovely to witness myself. My free time is so limited, so seeing my loved ones succeed in hobbies we enjoy all together is very rewarding. There are hints to some of them playing IRL this year, which makes me beyond excited and proud. Travelling will be a challenge, for reasons that may be obvious to some, but luckily recordings and streams will be sent out after the events from what I'm hearing. I hate missing out, and so do others in my friend group, but travelling really isn't in the cards for many of us right now. It's just another case of accepting how things are currently.

Basically everything fun thing comes with a thought about a bad thing that is also happening. The trouble I have is that I cannot separate them, and worse, I focus more on how I feel about the bad thing instead of trying to focus and uplift the good thing.

As the year unfolds, I hope I can be better about that.