02/07/2026 - THURSDAY

a review of pride month

My city's actual Pride event happens in July instead of June, so I have not attended much Pride events that aren't hosted by my friends or places I volunteer at. However, every time Pride rolls by, it's as if the world turns its head in massive support of queer people as if these same companies and organizations don't abhor us the moment it's over. It's hard for me to be excited for this month because I'm all too aware how the rainbow-ification of items in stores are mostly a marketing ploy, a way to advertise to queer folks for them to spend their hard earned money. A big part of me feels a bitter taste in my mouth interacting with capitalistic Pride ventures, as I know very few of them are actually in support of queer people.

I feel much more inclined to visit local businesses who quietly support their communities by mentioning who they're donating to or if they're doing food or clothing drives or shares for queer folks. That all seems much more impactful and real to me.

As a transmasculine individual, I think I unfortunately feel wary engaging in Pride because I don't really /feel/ included. So often do I get misgendered or ignored because my identity is not part of the feminine-orientented majority. What I mean by that is that the most known and, to be painfully honest, accepted expression of queerness is feminine. This past June I've heard from people at events say things such as, "Why would you even want to be a man?" or "being a man sucks! I don't know how you do it." It feels very much like an alienation of who I am and how I choose to express myself.

This isolation that I feel is not something that I think is singularly my experience. A lot of other transmascs that I speak to, both in real life and in virtual reality, have said that it feels hard to engage with Pride because they don't see many others like them present as well. Part of me wonders if it is because there's a lack of participation from transmascs all around, but then I also think about the added risk of being transmasc, or openly trans to begin with. Pride events are largely public, and lots of the trans guys I speak to are not yet publicly out to anyone, and some cases, not even to their families.

This frustration that I and other transmasculine individuals feel can only really be fixed if 1) we also exist and engage within Pride in the way that other queer folks and 2) if queer folks who regularly attend Pride uplift us and further validate our identities. This means using our preferred pronouns, not demeaning our decisions in expressing our gender identity, and listening to our unique experiences. I have found that the trans experience across the spectrum of being trans is so varied and different, and its not fair to any of us to try and say that we experience things as a monolith. Part of inclusivity is listening first to seek understanding, and slowly but surely the queer community can do that for all individuals who identify as such.

Transmisogyny exists within the community, even during Pride, which I know makes people feel uncomfortable addressing. The mainstream media, big companies and/or conglomerates, and promininent cultural figures want to silence anything to do with the trans experience and its unique qualities. I find that sometimes its easy to pit us against each other, as some individuals might seek validation from sources that are not well-meaning. We really got to stop that and support each other and not the people who are trying to tear us down.

I still think very highly of Pride month. I get excited for it every time. When I see posters of events my friends are doing or the communities I involve myself in coming together to contribute aid and support where they can, I feel a spark of hope in me. Hope that, as time goes on, Pride can continue to be a month worth celebrating and having for many years to come.